Session 5
1 Peter 3:1-12
Memory Verse: 1 Peter 3:8-9
Submission all but defines Christian relationships, particularly when it comes to relationships where one person holds power over another. Wives are physically weaker (generally speaking) than their husbands and certainly were in a vulnerable position socially in Peter’s day. Meanwhile, husbands are called to honor their wives, respecting them as equals in God’s kingdom and partners in His work on earth.
Relationships within the church and with unbelievers also shape the way Christ followers go about their lives. With so many touchpoints to consider, the issue becomes how to reflect the image of Christ in every context. Peter’s answer was simple: act like Jesus. As you prepare for this session, think about what imitating Jesus looks like in each of the relationships in your life. How clearly do you reflect the Savior to family members, the church, and the world? And how can you help the adults in your group embrace the example of Jesus as they move through this life and await Jesus’s return?
An exasperated church member once exclaimed that church would be great if it wasn’t for the people! Perhaps a husband or wife has felt that marriage would be great if it wasn’t for his or her spouse. Both exclamations are irrational. Both church and marriage involve relationships. Believers must live out their faith in the context of relationships. This requires that we learn how to resolve conflict and to deepen our relationships so that we can live in the way God intended-for our good and for His glory. (PSG, p. 46)
While there is a chapter break numerically between 2:25 and 3:1, Peter did not make one thematically. The themes of denying sin and conducting oneself in holiness that began in chapter 2 continue into chapter 3. The contexts that Peter described are different, but the basic call to reflect Jesus at every opportunity is not.
As is the case between citizens and their government (2:13-17) and slaves with their masters (2:18-20), wives and husbands are instructed to live in a certain way. The lengthy emphasis on women (six verses) is more likely indicative of Peter’s audience-Christian women married to unconverted men.
The fact that men are mentioned in only one verse (v. 7) does not diminish their responsibility to love and honor their wives well. Peter reminded his male readers that women are coheirs in the kingdom (3:7). This image of partnership and equality was established in the garden of Eden, and Peter affirmed it for his audience as well.
In general, common citizens, slaves, and women are all groups of people in a position with limited influence or power in the first century. But God was not concerned about their social status in regard to salvation or kingdom potential. Through Peter, God challenged the Christians in Asia Minor to endure suffering and embrace His purpose for their lives.
The apostle also urged them to be careful about their behavior since their actions could distract others from the larger message of the gospel. However, if they would commit to loving one another well (3:8) and avoid any negative reflections on the gospel (3:9), they would experience blessings and make a difference in the world for Christ. Peter noted the principles of peace and God’s presence by pointing to the truths of Psalm 34.
Ultimately, Peter urged his readers to develop and maintain an accurate view of eschatology, the study of last things. He reminded them that God would ultimately make all things right in His way and in His timing. He would bless those who endured and punish those who mistreated His people.
That assurance of Jesus’s second coming and its implications should have spurred the Christians of Asia Minor to minister to one another well. It also should have given them the strength and courage they needed to thrive in the midst of ongoing persecution. Peter’s words should also challenge and encourage us today as we evaluate our relationships through God’s lens.
Read 1 Peter 3:1-12. Highlight each command, then identify the reason for the command. (PSG, p. 47)
EXPLORE THE TEXT
1 In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by the way their wives live 2 when they observe your pure, reverent lives.
3 Don’t let your beauty consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes, 4 but rather what is inside the heart-the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For in the past, the holy women who put their hope in God also adorned themselves in this way, submitting to their own husbands, 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You have become her children when you do what is good and do not fear any intimidation.
(v. 1) In the same way: The Greek wording (homois) does not suggest that wives submit to husbands as slaves submit to masters or citizens submit to government authorities (see 1 Pet. 2:13-20). Rather, it connects groups (citizens, slaves, and women) who were in a position of lesser power within the culture. As he had with the earlier examples, Peter was getting ready to share how wives could reflect the glory of Christ.
(v. 1) Submit: This is the same root word used in 2:13,16, and 18. Again, the emphasis is placed on the apparent lack of position or influence. Common citizens had less power in their relationship with officials of the Empire. Slaves had less power in a relationship with their masters. And, in Peter’s day, wives had less power in their relationship with their husbands. How, then, should a Christian woman relate to her unbelieving husband? Voluntary submission. By living out the gospel, women had the chance to see God move their husbands toward a shared faith.
A comprehensive biblical understanding teaches that the submission of wives to husbands reflects the church’s submission to Jesus (Eph. 5:22-24). Thus, while Peter’s comments should be interpreted within the context of believers in Asia Minor, they also can be applied within the parameters of the entire biblical canon.
(v. 2) Observe: Peter contrasted talking with showing. The apostle recognized an opportunity for the wives of unbelieving husbands to validate their faith through their behavior, an opportunity that living together makes particularly effective. This is not to say that they should not speak of the gospel, but they needed to place special emphasis on living it out in close proximity with their husbands. As with every evangelism opportunity believers face, our walk should validate our talk.
Peter offered examples of the “pure, reverent lives” he encouraged in verse 2. Primarily, he drew a contrast between wives who emphasized external appearance and those who focused on internal character. Of course, Peter was not criticizing hair styles or jewelry, though even secular moralists in the first century encouraged similar modesty. Instead, he was challenging women to avoid sacrificing their spiritual character at the expense of physical appearance.
Simply put, women should invest in what makes them more like Jesus. Again, this is not a rule that applies only to females. All believers are called to nurture their relationship with Jesus. The key is remembering that God focuses on the heart (1 Sam. 16:7) and expects His people to do the same. This perspective leads to a gentle and quiet spirit, which defines a wife following Jesus.
(vv. 5-6) Holy women: Peter referenced holy women from the Old Testament (particularly Sarah, the wife of Abraham) as sources of inspiration and as examples of what a gentle and quiet spirit looks like. In addition, he equated this behavior with holiness, suggesting to his readers that their position in marriage-particularly to an unbelieving husband-was a position for which God had set them apart.
In other words, wives should pursue submission not because their husbands deserve it, but because it reflects the character of God to their husbands. In His sovereign plan, God specifically placed them in that role for His glory and their good-and the good of their spouses.
EXPLORE THE TEXT
7 Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker partner, showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
The Greek word used here (aner) occurs in some form more than two hundred times in the New Testament and can refer to any man. For example, Jesus used the same term to describe the wise man who built a house on the rock and the foolish man who built on the sand in Matthew 7:24-27. The emphasis is not on marital status but on the distinction of males from females, though the term also can distinguish adult men from boys. This is true in both biblical usage and in classical Greek usage among secular authors of the time. The context provides the translation for husbands. Since Peter had addressed women with husbands at the start of chapter 3, his reference here should be understood as men with wives.
(v. 7) In the same way: Peter was not suggesting that men should submit to their wives as women submit to their husbands. Instead, the wording provides a transitional point as the apostle shifted from the responsibilities of women to the responsibilities of men. The Bible nowhere suggests men place themselves under the authority of their wives. Rather, they are the God-ordained heads of their households. This means they carry a unique responsibility toward their wives by reflecting the love and character of Jesus within the covenant of marriage (Eph. 5:25-28).
(v. 7) Weaker partner: Turning his attention to believing husbands, Peter admonished these men to live with their wives with the full knowledge of what God expects. Peter summarized his counsel by demanding honor to a weaker partner (asthenestero skeuei). In this, Peter was not referencing a wife’s intellect, spirituality, morality, or emotions. The pattern of marriage since Eden has been partnership and dignity because both males and females carry the image of God.
(v. 7) Coheirs: Husbands are commanded to respect their wives because their wives are coheirs of the grace of life. This expression conveys that believing husbands and wives are equal recipients of God’s saving grace and should be treated accordingly. Gender may make a difference in some things on earth, but it means nothing when it comes to God’s offer of salvation and His transformational work in human lives. From an eschatological perspective, women will share equally with men in the blessings of God’s kingdom. But, even now, they also stand on equal footing in salvation. (See Gal. 3:28.)
(v. 7) Prayers will not be hindered: Ignoring these divine mandates for men and their wives carries relational implications within marriage. But it also affects one’s spiritual relationship with God. Peter reminded his male readers that selfishness and egotism will obstruct their communication with God. God does not bless those who abuse their authority in any context, including within the confines of the marriage covenant. Simply put, how a husband treats his wife significantly affects his spiritual health.
EXPLORE THE TEXT
8 Finally, all of you be like-minded and sympathetic, love one another, and be compassionate and humble, 9 not paying back evil for evil or insult for insult but, on the contrary, giving a blessing, since you were called for this, so that you may inherit a blessing. 10 For the one who wants to love life and to see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit, 11 and let him turn away from evil and do what is good. Let him seek peace and pursue it, 12 because the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do what is evil. Speak character
(v. 8) Like-minded and sympathetic: Peter identified five primary descriptions of how believers should act toward one another. The Greek compound word translated like-minded comes from two words meaning “same” and “inner outlook.” This suggests that believers who share a moral compass internally will act in harmony externally. Striving to become like-minded highlights the dangers of division in the church.
It is easier to practice unity where sympathetic feelings abound. While like-mindedness focuses on the shared mind, sympathy deals with a shared heart. The Greek wording suggests mutual suffering and joy. It is hard to focus on points of contention when one is focused on understanding the needs and lives of others.
(v. 8) Love . . . compassionate . . . humble: Brotherly love (philadelphoi) is a familial love. Christ-followers share a common relationship with Jesus. Such love manifests itself through love, compassion, and humility (tapeinophrones). The command to be humble is interesting in its historic context. While contemporary culture recognizes humility as a positive virtue, many in the first century rejected humility and considered it a character flaw.
The five terms Peter used create a chiasm, a literary tool where parallel elements work together to emphasize the main point. In this case, being like-minded and humble are parallel, as are sympathy and compassion. These also serve to put special emphasis on love. Practicing all these traits ensures a healthy church and
positive relationships.
(v. 9) Blessing: In 2:21-23, Peter had emphasized how Jesus responded-or chose not to respond-when He was attacked. Leaning into Isaiah 53, the apostle noted that Jesus neither hurled insults nor leveled threats against those who abused Him. Instead, He prayed a blessing on His enemies. Followers of Jesus are held to the same standard.
Whereas verse 8 underscores relationships among believers, verse 9 highlights relationships with those who persecute us. Those who inflict evil or hurl insults should not be repaid in kind, as tempting as it might be. Rather, believers must offer a blessing to others. Again, Christ followers are called to imitate the example of Jesus. This is the gospel life that empowers believers to endure and challenges outsiders to consider the claims of Jesus and the benefits of following Him.
(vv. 10-12) Do what is good: To validate his admonition to bless those who speak and do evil, Peter cited Psalm 34:12-16 from the Greek version of the Old Testament, called the Septuagint. In that passage, the psalmist taught that the Lord rescues His people when they suffer. In addition, He promises that one day He will judge those who speak and do evil against them.
While they wait, God’s people should look like Him. They should pursue righteousness and trust that the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are listening to their cries. They also must be patient, allowing the Lord to bring justice in His way and in His time. This is another example of how Peter used Old Testament principles to emphasize New Testament behavior and how his understanding of last things shaped his theology for the here and now.
Review these points from Apply the Text on page 54 of the Personal Study Guide:
Invite the group to review Pack Item 11 (Handout: Building Relationships) and to suggest practical ways to improve their relationships. Share that while our context may be different, the principles remain true.
Guide the group to discuss the second set of questions on page 54 of the PSG. Review the qualities Peter emphasized and how believers can apply them each day.
Close in guided prayer. Invite the group to pray silently as you guide their thinking.
Reinforce the session by texting or emailing the group. Invite them to reflect on the Scripture from this session and the discussion on relationships. Encourage them to put into practice one of Peter’s instructions three or four times during the week. Thank the group for participating in these sessions on 1,2 Peter. Include a prayer that adults will grow closer in their personal relationships and as a church body.
The husband and wife are of equal worth before God, since both are created in God’s image. (See Genesis 1:26-28; Matthew 19:3-9.)
Use other Scripture to help understand a Bible passage.
Submission is a consistent theme throughout 1 Peter 2:11-3:12. It’s applied generally to all relationships and specifically to wives in relationship to their husbands. Compare and contrast Peter’s discussion on marital submission alongside Paul’s in Ephesians 5:22-33. What do you glean about the importance of submission as a Christian quality? Why might a wife’s submission to her husband actually put her into a uniquely powerful position to glorify God and proclaim the work of Jesus?